A quiet minute in a busy home

If your home has children, grandparents, flatmates or a TV that never switches off, finding a quiet minute can feel like a joke. You are not doing it wrong, and you do not need a spare room to begin.

This page shows where the small pockets of time usually hide, and how to use them with the household still going on around you.

Where can I find a few minutes at home?

Look for gaps that already exist. Most days have five or six of them, and they are short.

• Waiting for the rice cooker or the kettle.
• The first minutes after you wake, before anyone else is up.
• After the school run, while the car is still parked.
• Right after the children are in bed, before you pick up your phone.
• The bathroom or the balcony, for a short pause behind a closed door.

You only need one. Pick the one that comes back every day, so it can become your cue. Attaching a new activity to an existing routine explains the idea.

What if there is noise all the time?

Let the noise be part of it. Sit down, rest your attention on one sound, and when your mind jumps to the next, return to that first sound. The fan, a motorbike or a neighbour’s karaoke can all be your anchor.

If sound makes it hard to follow, earphones help. A guided session with a voice in your ears sits above household noise, so you can follow it in a flat with thin walls.

Try this: a three-minute reset anywhere

You can do this in a corner of the kitchen or the edge of a bed.

1. Tell one person: “I am taking three minutes, back soon.”
2. Sit with your feet on the floor and set a timer, such as the meditation timer.
3. Close your eyes or look softly at the floor.
4. Notice your breath in one place: nose, chest or belly.
5. When a sound or a thought pulls you away, notice it, then come back to the breath.
6. When the timer sounds, stretch your hands and rejoin the household.

If someone interrupts, respond, then begin again. That is not a failed session.

How do I tell my family without a fuss?

Be brief and warm. “I am sitting for five minutes. Please call me if it is urgent.” Children understand a simple promise, especially if you tell them when you will be back.

Some households find it helps to sit at the same time every day. A routine is easier for others to respect than a surprise. If the answer is no on one day, try another slot instead of pushing.

Busy home, low energy

If you are tired from caring for others, a shorter session is fine. One minute is allowed. Choose a posture that does not ask much: seated, back supported, hands resting.

If a session brings up distress, dizziness or painful memories, it is fine to stop, and to talk to a doctor or counsellor. Our support page lists where to start.

Where to go next

If the day falls apart, have a backup plan for a disrupted day ready. If mornings are the problem, read choosing a regular cue when mornings are unpredictable. To plan the cue on paper, try the practice cue planner, which keeps what you type in your browser.

You will find the whole set on the keeping a practice going hub.